«I did harm» — one act, against someone or your own rule · ease the heat, then let guilt do its one job: repair
Name it i
How strong? 0–10
What’s happening? optional
Ease the heat i
take the heat out of the face and body before you talk to yourself
core = ships with the app · yours = you made it · nothing of yours for guilt yet — adopt one and it goes first with ★ your plan
Repair it i
Who was harmed — them or your rule?
The repair — one concrete step
rule kept, nobody harmed? false guilt — let it go
guilt is useful exactly once — when it turns into repair
Close it i
5 → 2 · −3
the weight lifts when the repair is scheduled — not when you’ve replayed it enough
Everyone feels all of this. Prime is how fast you come back.
mechanism
Guilt is a repair signal. You did something that broke your own rule or hurt someone, and the system flags it until the damage is addressed. Unlike shame it is specific and finite: it points at an act, so it has a natural exit — repair. Guilt that has no exit usually means the rule was not yours, or the repair is being avoided.
not to confuse with
ashamed: the verdict is on you, not on an act, and repair does not touch it · regret: about a choice with no victim, only a fork · hurt: you are the one who received it · anxious: the fear is about consequences ahead, not about damage done
in the body
weight in the stomach, replaying the moment, the urge to over-explain or to over-give
feel it
Let it point at the act without letting it spread to your whole character. Two minutes to see what exactly you did, then move: guilt is useful early and toxic when stored.
what to do
Name the damage, then make one concrete repair: say it, fix it, return it, change the behaviour. If repair is impossible, name what you will do differently — that is the only honest closing move.
don't
no over-apologising: it moves the weight to the other person · do not buy your way out with favours · do not repair by promising things you will not do
if you do nothing
The act stays unaddressed and guilt spreads: it stops pointing at the thing you did and starts colouring how you see yourself. Then it turns into shame, which cannot be repaired at all.
after
a repair that was made is worth logging — guilt returns to old acts unless it is closed on record · if guilt repeats over the same behaviour, the fix is upstream, not another apology
your track
4 episodes · median 6 → 2 · usual trigger: promises to family · best tool: one concrete repair ✓3
keys
0–9 set the scale · enter = next step · d = tool done · esc = close dialogs
+ add your own · open in Library: practices →